For all of you smart
successful accomplished ladies who are stuck in the lonely rut I have exciting news.
This is your time to shine. Never has it been a better to be independent and intelligent
with your traits increasing your attraction factor. If you have been finding
that your accomplished fabulousness has been hurting you love life and your
ability to attract husband material let me let you in on a little secret. According
to Stephanie Coontz op-ed piece in the New York Times,. “the most important predictor of marital
happiness for a woman is not how much she looks up to her husband but how
sensitive he is to her emotional cues and how willing he is to share housework
and child-care. And those traits are easier to find in a low-key guy than a
powerhouse.”
So if you’re an intelligent
and successful woman afflicted with the
‘romance novel inspired’ expectations of
our ideal man and guilty of what Coontz identifies
as confusing “intimidation with infatuation” in your choice of lovers
then how about making a change.
Reality Number One: Not hating on the alpha male
type but there is only a limited supply of these.
Reality Number Two: Truth be told, as Evan Marc Katz the Dating Coach for Strong Successful Women states “I am
not arguing that women ought to “settle.” I am arguing that we can now expect
more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial
security, social status and sense of accomplishment. But that requires ditching
the Lois Lane syndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of Clark
Kent because we’re so eager for the occasional fly-by from Superman.”
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| Is He Husband Material |
Reality Number Three: If you are like most of your
fellow accomplished sisters chances are your perfect partner ideal falls in the
taller, smarter, richer and more powerful categories and while this type of man
does set our hormones ablaze by definition these men are often poor husband
material and unable or unwilling to give you the type of attention, devotion
and partnership you desire and deserve. His focus and strong identification with financial
success and material accomplishment make these men more likely to find your
success a liability NOT an asset.
“Certainly, some guys
are still threatened by a woman’s achievements,” Coontz’s article states “But
scaring these types off might be a good thing. The men most likely to feel
emotional and physical distress when their wives have a higher status or income
tend to be those who are more invested in their identity as breadwinners than
as partners and who define success in materialistic ways. Both these traits are
associated with lower marital quality
So ladies time to ditch
the Lois Lane fantasy and take a second look at the Clark Kent types. Truth be
told I always thought Clark sexy but of course ignored the obvious warning
signs and married a ‘smarter, taller, richer ‘Superman’ type who was absolutely unable and unwilling
to provide the emotional support, connection and partnership that I craved. So take
it from me, learning from my lesson, I decided to follow Evan Marc Katz’s
advice and shifted my priorities, stopped confusing “intimidation with
infatuation,” expanded my definition of husband material and found my Clark
Kent. If you would like to find more excellent advice in supercharging your ‘Find
Your Husband Now’ mission subscribe to Evan Mark Katz newsletter today!!!
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