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Monday, December 17, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
For all of you smart successful accomplished ladies who are stuck in the lonely rut I have exciting news. This is your time to shine. Never has it been a better to be independent and intelligent with your traits increasing your attraction factor. If you have been finding that your accomplished fabulousness has been hurting you love life and your ability to attract husband material let me let you in on a little secret. According to Stephanie Coontz op-ed piece in the New York Times,. “the most important predictor of marital happiness for a woman is not how much she looks up to her husband but how sensitive he is to her emotional cues and how willing he is to share housework and child-care. And those traits are easier to find in a low-key guy than a powerhouse.”
So if you’re an intelligent and successful woman afflicted with the ‘romance novel inspired’ expectations of our ideal man and guilty of what Coontz identifies as confusing “intimidation with infatuation” in your choice of lovers then how about making a change.
Reality Number One: Not hating on the alpha male type but there is only a limited supply of these.
Reality Number Two: Truth be told, as Evan Marc Katz the Dating Coach for Strong Successful Women states “I am not arguing that women ought to “settle.” I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status and sense of accomplishment. But that requires ditching the Lois Lane syndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of Clark Kent because we’re so eager for the occasional fly-by from Superman.”
|Is He Husband Material|
Reality Number Three: If you are like most of your fellow accomplished sisters chances are your perfect partner ideal falls in the taller, smarter, richer and more powerful categories and while this type of man does set our hormones ablaze by definition these men are often poor husband material and unable or unwilling to give you the type of attention, devotion and partnership you desire and deserve. His focus and strong identification with financial success and material accomplishment make these men more likely to find your success a liability NOT an asset.
“Certainly, some guys are still threatened by a woman’s achievements,” Coontz’s article states “But scaring these types off might be a good thing. The men most likely to feel emotional and physical distress when their wives have a higher status or income tend to be those who are more invested in their identity as breadwinners than as partners and who define success in materialistic ways. Both these traits are associated with lower marital quality
So ladies time to ditch the Lois Lane fantasy and take a second look at the Clark Kent types. Truth be told I always thought Clark sexy but of course ignored the obvious warning signs and married a ‘smarter, taller, richer ‘Superman’ type who was absolutely unable and unwilling to provide the emotional support, connection and partnership that I craved. So take it from me, learning from my lesson, I decided to follow Evan Marc Katz’s advice and shifted my priorities, stopped confusing “intimidation with infatuation,” expanded my definition of husband material and found my Clark Kent. If you would like to find more excellent advice in supercharging your ‘Find Your Husband Now’ mission subscribe to Evan Mark Katz newsletter today!!!